i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
