why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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