I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
