Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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