so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
