One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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