Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
