you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
