I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
