mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
