addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize