Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
