I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
