at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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