Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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