whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
