I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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