I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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