If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
