What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize