We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
