HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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