I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
