I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
