She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
