Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
