I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize