I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
