Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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