whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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