Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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