fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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