I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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