i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
