I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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