I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize