screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
