I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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