So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
