We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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