Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
