From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
