Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
