Its about making memories worth repressing
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
