i just had sex bonerless
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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