I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize