11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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