the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
