i jhust puked up my retainher.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
