U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
