I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
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