i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
