Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
