Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
