I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
