I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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