The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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