You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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