My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
two words: eviction party
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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