then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
