so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
