Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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