Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.

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(703): View more from Virginia

one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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(559): View more from California

I queefed so loud it echoed.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....

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(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

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(770): View more from Georgia

Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.

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(251): View more from Alabama

How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.

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(310): View more from California

Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.

(310): View more from California

Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.

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