your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I lost the right to judge tonight