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• (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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• (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea

  (214): View more from Texas

  WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?

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