WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.