I hate your face
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drake has all the answers
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.