I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
