marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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